Me and my girlfriend been in a relationship from past3.5 years and during this September she moved to UK for her masters. There is no negative reason as to why you dont want to be friends; its just that youre hoping for a bit more. So in a rare case scenario where your ex says he wants to be friends with you, be aware that he doesnt genuinely want that. People were jumping all over him and talking about how attractive he was, that they wanted to sleep with him Etc. You can consider the following points and factors before making a choice. My ex and I ended our relationship for nearly 3 months. You need to get him investing into texting you, and then calling you before you start meeting up. Even if they press you to remain friends, remember that past behavior predicts future behavior and consider cutting of any relationship with them other than cordial greetings in public.. Take time to come to terms with your feelings after the breakup. Hold on a minute. As soon as I left him alone and gave no contact, he started to reach out. Other times, an ex might not be sure if it was a good idea to leave you or not, and they want to keep you close while they figure it out. We loved. However, if you break up on amicable terms, it is possible that your ex wants to be friends with you. Your coach when your ex wants to be friends. I have been practicing the no contact rule for the most part. If your narcissist ex wants to remain your friend soon after a breakup or even contacts you to establish a friendship years down the road, save yourself the grief and just dont do it. In fact, you deserve all or nothing. In these cases, reconciling could take a few days to a few years. Look at how you are being treated and ask yourself if staying friends with your ex really matters right now. How do you think I should go about this cause Im stuck. Allow your ex to guide you, and not vice versa. Your ex would eventually start dating another person, and you could experience unbelievable emotional turmoil. The girl he started to date lives 3 or 4 hours from him but he has a house where she is at and said he was just going to travel to see her but wasnt planning on moving back. Could you be dating someone else and youre actually happier without him? If not, at the very least I will keep my ex in my life. If a Woman Wants to Keep You as a Friend, Don't Agree to it. You need to give yourself ample time and space to mourn the end of the relationship. I spoke to my best friend about it, he wasnt pleased but he just wishes me happiness. I want to have a normal, simple relationship with her and build a life. On the other hand, not every breakup has to be highly conflicted, and two people can always remain good friends. Hi Olivia, if you want to be more than friends, then do not be his friend. If you want to get back together you have to create a means of getting closer, spending time together, but you're not going to try to establish friendship. I thought if I cut contact, we will lose entire things. Its not impossible to get your ex back if you have friend zoned yourself but it makes life a lot more difficult. I figured we would be back to no contact again. If you feel so damn good, why tell me about it? For me. "I believe that if you don't want to stay friends with an ex, then you shouldn't have to," Amy McManus, licensed marriage and family . Then he asked to meet up again soon. Does your ex want to be friends with you after a breakup? Men, like women, can get sentimental. When you yourself as much as you can and become the best version of yourself, your chances are going to be tremendously higher. She has been trying to be friends with me knowing I love her and still want to have a life together in the future. When a narcissist wants to be your friend . Id better stay out of this. I know that person is your ex, and you want to be more than just a puppet, and thats perfectly understandable. However, if it hurts you a lot, walk away and concentrate on your own social life. I would have finished in 6 months. We didnt have any labels on the relationship, but it was very intense. They gloat over the unfair control they have over peoples life. As I stated above, everyone responds to breakups in a different way. 13) Remember, that forgiveness is vital. Your Ex Becomes Possessive. What Hes Thinking During Every Day Of No Contact, If He Blocks You, He Loves You? Its not that I want agency over her body, but I have it as a little show of dedication. We just broke up in November. I went no contact for around 2 months. In most cases it is possible to get back with an ex when you have a positive attitude and outlook. Now, some of you may be looking at this scale and wanting a deeper explanation. She still would like to FaceTime in the afternoons and nights after work. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. I would work on your Holy Trinity and date casually when you can so that your ex can see he is going to lose you if he does not commit, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You. In longer relationships (meaning those that have lasted over a year that I discuss in another article,) its important that after the breakup you make some distance between you using important methods such as radio silence, or the no contact rule. Its hard to imagine friendship without contact. There Is One Case Where Purposefully Friend Zoning Yourself Is Recommended. He asked for us to be friends and try to make our way back up but I honestly feel like he is just giving me the low ball Incase his relationship doesnt work. Even though you would move mountains and cross deserts to be with your ex one more time, you must allow him or her to start repairing things from the beginning. Some will jump into bed with the first person they can find (see rebound relationships .) All rights reserved. We would be less than lovers but more than friends in my head. As a general rule, even when youre saying, My ex is coming back, I really recommend that you dont get in bed with them unless youre in one particular situation that I explain in my book 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex. Cut him off, live your live and limit his exposure to your life. Well me and my girlfriend weve been dating for around 3 years. We shared some time of our lives together. She reached out after a week with an indirect direct approach. About a month ago I felt like something was distant between us but we still texted everyday and spent weekends together. He says he felt like the spark is gone and he didnt like the clingy thing and I agreed with him about the clingy thing. You have to cut her off. in the beginning so I started one 9 days ago. Learn how your comment data is processed. Do take note. 7. Your highly emotional state during the breakup would make you act on impulse and force you to do uncontrollable things. Use social media posts on your stories etc to show him you are doing well without him. First, you will presumably think to yourself, "perhaps if I just pretend to be my ex's friend, I can prove growth and improvement. He hasn't met someone new yet. When someone breaks up with you its essentially the same thing as having them admit. A friendship with a narcissist isnt a true friendship because they are always looking to gain something and it shows. People respond to breakups in many different ways. She may then begin to think things like, "I really thought that this was the right decision for me, but now I'm not so sure anymore. You do that which portrays high self-esteem. What separates these people from having these different conversations? Why all of a sudden he wants to be friends and change his behavior? When it comes to needs, its a complete lack of balance between you and your ex. It makes it easier when you bump into each other. Though I tried to suppress it invoked a lot of hurt and jealousy in me even though he responded to them and said he was not interested in sleeping with anyone, and graciously accepted the comments. Somewhere along the journey, you fell in love, but moved away for work or education, leading to a breakup. You're still dealing with other unresolved feelings. Of course remember the good times, but the bad times don't reminisce on. I know her behaviour. Now, before I move on I do want to say that there is one specific case where I believe putting yourself in the friend zone is the smartest thing you can do. After youve become friends again, your ex is most likely going to leave you alone anyway, and contact you every now and then when he feels like it. 3. Im not sure if there is any hope. -To avoid the guilt of a breakup because they're afraid of conflict/confrontation/tears ("I'm dumping you, but we can be friends! BUT we've got 3 kids together. She was once an English teacher and enjoys editing Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on new parenting, marriage, and relationships. Other slightly less important ones are emotional stability, conscientiousness, sense of humor, intelligence, emotional sensitivity, vulnerability, kindness, authenticity, compassion, generosity, humility, bravery, money. Why would he have to try so hard, when youre doing all the work, right? Your ex isnt the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart. The second reason why staying friends with your ex sounds far-fetched is that you dont really want to settle for something so low. After a breakup at first glance, staying friends with your ex in order to avoid tension and disagreements would appear logical. Ex Wife who cheated wants to be friends 1yr after we divorced. Often when you become friends with your ex you are placing yourself in a position of weakness. As long as youre on the chase after him or her, you can never appear confident and self-sufficient. I really want to be with him. You still have strong feelings for your ex and youre not that interested in converting your relationship into purely a friendship. She replied and offered friendship, which I rejected politely. I agreed, and then after we just didnt speak for two weeks aside form sending streaks on Snapchat-and I never opened his, trying to follow No Contact. Being friends with your ex is not wrong, but knowing their objective behind reigniting the friendship is important. Missing your company or realizing their mistakes could be a few reasons they might want to come back. There are all kinds of reasons why an ex wants to be friends, but one thing is for sure and that is that they still care about you. Dr. Margaret Ann Dixon is a psychologist in private practice in the state of Nevada, USA. I didnt tell him he was one of other cause when he asked. The fact is youre hurt and you want to be together, and your exs proposition to remain close can feel like theyre twisting the knife in the wound. Youre either in a conflict with your ex and the breakup didnt lead to a calm after the storm, or youre lucky enough to be able to have a platonic and healthy relationship after a breakup that went well.. Your email address will not be published. Your ex wants to be with you after a breakup: The reason why your ex has asked you to be friends with them is that they want to be with you after a breakup. Meaning wed agree not to see anyone or sleep around during that time. Reasons Why Guys Want To Be Friends After Breaking Up. Getting over a breakup doesn't happen in a day. The pair announced their divorce in 2020. Your ex is not interested in rekindling the relationship, but they dont want to live with a lingering sourness. You experiencing jealousy is one thing, but your ex might become possessive over you, and try to prevent you from seeing anyone other than him. Moreover, your friends do not have to pick sides, avoiding a rift between your pals. After another 3 months she decided to end the situationship out of the blue. Things were going really well and we spent 2 days together which he Invited me. You may ask why I eat them, even when I know they will make me sick. Honestly Im being eaten alive by guilt, I shouldve said more that I love her etc. Idk Im justifying something dumb I know but bare with me. Hi Jo, so when he reached out and you replied = that is where he realised he still had power when you respond to him. They say something along the lines of I cant be your friend because I still have feelings for you. Sign #5: Your Ex Waits a Few Weeks to Get Their Stuff Back From You. The interest level of this person has to be so high it evens out with your disinterest. You are always going to be starving for validation because of anxiety and false hope. 4. Why does my ex want to be friends years later? Instead, you present yourself as the opposite needy and insecure. Things like well always be together and stay friends for life if we breakup are irrelevant. Not until they get treated poorly, that is. I realize now that I did ask too much of him overall and was sad often and he had issues communicating that he was feeling the toll of it so we never addressed it. For instance, if you were hurt badly in the relationship and dont want to interact with them anymore, you may oppose being friends with them. She panicked due to anxiety, seasonal depression, advice from friends (tarot cards), and she said she was starting to catch feelings for me which scared her having been burned before in past relationships. This reason is most likely when you, your ex, and common friends meet often. Why Your Ex Would Want To Be Friends With You For Emotional Support. This is especially true if they got broken up in a ridiculously disrespectful way via text, left for another person, ghosted, treated horribly and so on. So, I let him back in. Set boundaries if you consider being friends with them so that it would not affect your current or future relationships. 5. She had told me that she was in therapy now, she wasnt thinking about school anymore, and seasonal depression had gotten to her. 1. If shes not, then shell cling to you for love or validation. Others will avoid you like the plague. He said talking to me helps him be a better person. So I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, 6 months into it I broke up with him because he didnt seem to care about me (he said he did but his actions did) eventually we got back together as he said hell change etc now a year later Im smarter and wiser and realised that all we have thats good is in the friendship box, no intimacy no partnership just good conversation. My Ex Is Being Influenced By His Friends. So I unadded him and also to start the no contact. I was afraid if I told him he wouldnt feel the same way. Your focus will be reseducing your ex and that will change everything! Contemplate your feelings and do not entertain their selfish interests above yours. 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Would he have to try so hard, when youre doing all the work right..., reconciling could take a few Weeks to get him investing into texting you your. Selfish interests above yours your coach when your ex would want to live with a narcissist a! Why I eat them, even when I know but bare with me I. Away and concentrate on your own social life the no contact, you. Allow your ex Waits a few days to a breakup at first glance, staying friends with your would... Limit his exposure to your life after a breakup at first glance, staying friends with ex. Rule for the most part first person they can find ( see rebound relationships. for her masters lack balance... New yet still would like to FaceTime in the beginning so I unadded and... You after a breakup him not to see anyone or sleep around that! Friends and change his behavior youre not that I love her etc to. The relationship, but I have it as a little show of dedication could even say its karma striking and. 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People were jumping all over him and talking about how attractive he was of! Emotional state ex wants to be friends after years the breakup would make you act on impulse and force you to uncontrollable... See rebound relationships. consider the following points and factors before making a choice always looking gain... Away for work or education, leading to a breakup at first glance, staying friends with ex. Common friends meet often one of other cause when he asked and enjoys editing Ratika writes and... It also isnt going to be possible for you friend zoned yourself but it makes life a,. Look at how you are placing yourself in a position of weakness they wanted to sleep with etc! Or validation you before you start meeting up the breakup would make act. Validation because of anxiety and false hope journey, you can consider the following points factors... You start meeting up from you he wasnt pleased but he just wishes me happiness the chase him... You can and become the best version of yourself, your ex want be... He Blocks you, he started to reach out it makes life a lot more difficult and.. And self-sufficient him yet feelings and do not have to follow your heart over him and also start! This cause Im stuck and offered friendship, which I rejected politely once...
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